Shut up, sit down, and drink your goddamn tea
by NymboDerp
Summary: His smile could quite literally grab you by the balls and tug you around, in sheer happiness and infatuation despite the pain, until Sena had you right where he wanted you. One-shot, AllxSena, KarinSena... crack?


**A/N**: Sena… imagine him as a serial killer. He'd be fucking terrifying. Dokidoki murders, they would be called methinks.

* * *

Sena had the sweetest smile ever.

A cupid-bow smile, cheeks flushed a rosy pink, and dimples in his cheeks; it was a sight that wouldn't be easily forgotten.

When he smiled, sakura petals floated through the air around him. It could stop wars, end hatred and discrimination, solve the problem of world poverty and starvation; and it was because of his smile that the rising All-Stars of Japan had stopped clashing and instead, cooperated with each other instead. His smile could quite literally grab you by the balls and tug you around, in sheer happiness and infatuation despite the pain, until Sena had you right where he wanted you.

Which was why it was utterly _terrifying_ for Sena to be smiling that cherubic smile as he gestured for the men to make themselves comfortable in the numerous couches and chairs in front of him.

"Please, take a seat!" Sena exclaimed, his smile not fading as the men, bulky and huge in size compared to the petit brunet, did as he said with an oddly meek look on their faces.

Looking around them until every last one of them had seated themselves somehow in his living room, his smile amplified in size. Some of them had to blink repeatedly to try and get the sparkles out of their vision.

"I'll make you guys some tea, so please excuse me a moment!" He chirped, before turning on his heel with a surprisingly neat spin, leaving his overly crowded living room to escape into his kitchen.

And only when the kitchen door slammed shut behind him, the men started arguing with each other.

"You were the one to start it!" Koutarou yelled at Akaba, his hairbrush brandished threateningly in his hand. "That wasn't smart in the slightest!"

However, the redhead was just as volatile, yelling back, "You were the one who wanted to take a look at it in the first place! Don't even try to lie!" No one seemed to note how he'd forgone his usual quirk of speaking with musical terms, though it was easily excusable. Sena's unspoken disappointment really was jarring.

"Who was the one who opened it first?" Kakei asked, his calm voice easily heard above everyone's, even as Mizumachi began to bounce around the room, reveling in the animosity that was coming from the men around him. (The blond always had been a little… _touched_ in the head. It came from being dropped one too many times as a baby.)

"I merely wanted to take a look at what Eyeshield 21 uses when training," Shin muttered to no one in particular as he took claim of the action, though Takami and Sakuraba could hear him clearly. The latter gave Shin a scandalised look.

"Hey… we should really be blaming the person who touched it!" Yamato accused, pointing his finger at Kid, whose eyes widened at his words.

"I took no part in this!" Kid complained, glancing over at Tetsuma, who merely nodded as if on command. "I _knew_ that this invitation was too good to be true…"

Unsui sighed as he stayed away from the general argument, glancing over at Riku, who merely had a smug look on his face. The elder twin's eyes widened when he caught sight of a certain black-coloured fabric in Riku's pocket, and he was about to call the man out on it, when a scowling Jyuumonji bumped into him, all thoughts of the fabric leaving his mind.

"What the fuck, man!?" Jyuumonji hissed at Kisaragi, who blinked at him slowly, his pretty features not betraying a single emotion. Well, other than a haughty arrogance.

"I didn't do anything… Beautiful people _never_ harm others." Kisaragi stated loftily, making Jyuumonji's eyes narrow even more.

"G-guys! We shouldn't just blame one person… Sena-kun trusted us not to go through his stuff!" Karin's trembling voice, in an attempt to placate the rising tensions, tried to make itself heard, but was drowned out by the sound of Hiruma cackling.

"They aren't going to fucking hear you, shy girl!" Hiruma exclaimed, grinning widely as he leered at her from across the couch.

Shivering under the amused stare from the blond, she quickly moved to escape into the kitchen where Sena was. She didn't want to hang around the men longer than she had to, without someone who was able to calm them down… Besides, she was sure that Sena would appreciate the help, and she needed to convince him that no one was to be blamed for going into his underwear drawer!

The door clicked shut behind her, and without the presence of the only female in the room, the arguing between the men steadily escalated until one of them snapped.

An enraged Jyuumonji launched himself at a startled Kisaragi, who toppled against Yamato, whose arm hit Shin, who immediately responded by smacking his arm away- only to knock Yamato into Sakuraba, who fell onto Takami, who fell onto Koutarou, whose hairbrush was knocked out of his hand and hit Akaba, who in annoyance, threw it back at him, only to overshoot it and make it fly into Hiruma's face, who quickly knocked it aside and pulled out his numerous guns, shooting at the perpetrator and hit Unsui and Riku and Tetsuma, who had been shielding Kid from the rain of bullets…

And it just degenerated from there.

Sena returned from his kitchen to see his living room in a state of utter disrepair, with men brawling and tackling and spitting insults at each other.

Karin let out a trembling sob. Why were men so… so unreasonable?!

"… Are you all children?" Sena asked, his cool tone cutting through all of the testosterone-fueled aggression in the room. "What the hell are you all doing?" The sheer disappointment and annoyance was clear from his words, making the men wilt under his stare.

Bashful and reprimanded, the men moved to clean the room up as best as possible, sitting down on battered furniture at the unspoken command. Also unspoken, they unanimously decided to leave the single, unbroken piece of furniture for Sena to take when he decided to sit down.

"Good… now _drink your tea._" He ordered, passing out cups of fragrant corn tea, moving to sit down on his own loveseat (thankfully untouched, but knowing the men, they had skirted around it knowing that it was Sena's favourite surface to sit on), gesturing for Karin to share his seat with him.

Everything else was in a state of disrepair after all, and Karin deserved a better seating place that a ripped couch, or half-broken dining chairs. She was such a darling, especially when compared to the men.

Once everyone had sipped at their tea, and stopped glaring at Karin for practically sitting on Sena's lap, Sena let his smile appear on his lips again, pinning them all with a surprisingly demonic stare.

A shudder ran down everyone's spine.

Doe-like eyes were not supposed to have that kind of look to them.

"Now… could you _please_ tell me why I first found you guys all fighting over my underwear?" He asked, the warmness of his smile and words contradicted by the sheer _murder_ in his eyes.

Koutarou gulped, fidgeting nervously with the spare hairbrush in his hand, averting his eyes so that he didn't need to meet Sena's. Beside him, a prim and oddly untouched Kisaragi threaded his fingers through his hair, an amused smile on his lips, making Koutarou shoot him a nasty glare. (Oh yes, Koutarou _knew_ that it had been Kisaragi who had been grabbing people's hair during the brawl, tugging them with a vicious grip!)

Oblivious to the silent exchanges in the room, Sena raised an eyebrow at the lack of response to his question, setting his tea down with a soft and proper _click!_

"No one is going to tell me?" He asked demurely, crossing his hands over his lap. "Does that mean I have to punish _all of you_?"

There was another moment of silence so thick you could cut it with a knife. And cut it Unsui did, with a metaphorical _chainsaw_.

"Riku has it!"

Everyone's eyes flickered to the initially smug man, who suddenly had a look of pure terror, noticing how he was pinned with numerous pairs of murderous eyes. He couldn't hide behind Kid either… his captain had forsaken him the moment he had been ousted as the underwear thief.

"I- I don't!" Riku denied quickly, jumping to his feet as he began to back away. "Sena! You know I'd never try and steal your underwear – never had to, since we had to share and all… Remember? When we were kids?" As he spoke, he regretted what he was saying. He was digging himself deeper and deeper into the hole he had found, and he knew there was no way of getting out of it, since everyone could see the hint of fabric sticking out of his pocket.

He gulped thickly, before a nervous chuckle left his lips.

Unanimously, everyone stood up as well… and as one, began to chase Riku down, bursting out of the house and onto the busy streets of Tokyo. Well, everyone, but Karin, Sena, Hiruma and Unsui.

Hiruma's lips curled into an amused smile, all too aware of the subtle manipulations that Sena had orchestrated to get that particular outcome, soon standing up and calling out a raucous "see you fucking later, pipsqueak!" over his shoulder. Unsui had soon followed suit, not seeing the point of sticking around, when Sena was obviously tired, and needed to get his house back to normal…

Karin had quickly volunteered to help, putting a pleasant smile on Sena's face as they scoured the house from top to bottom, righting the paintings, patching up the furniture, clearing away the cups of tea and the debris left behind after the fight…

And soon, Sena found himself at his front door, with Karin in front of him. It was early in the evening, but Karin had thought she'd imposed enough, and since Sena was satisfied with the reparations that that occurred after the men had left…

Karin smiled one last time at the brunet, turning to leave. However, she was stopped when he called out for her.

"Karin-chan…"

"Yes, Sena-kun?"

"Are you free tonight? I've heard that the new Italian restaurant that had opened up last week is really nice…"

"E-eh?"

"I-I mean, that's only i-if you want to go, of course…"

"I- I'd love… I'd love to, Sena-kun… It's a little hasty, though, isn't it? I-I mean, I'm barely dressed up for it, and you've obviously got a lot more suitors, and they'd all be better than me, and y-you deserve much more than just little me—!"

"S-sorry for asking you then! I- I wanted to date K-Karin-chan, but I suppose that's a little—"

"Sorry!"

"Sorry!"

"No, _I'm_ more sorry, you shouldn't be the one apologising at all…"

"I should be the one to! You've done nothing wrong, Karin-chan!"

"But-!"

"No, this was...!"

"I was...!"

* * *

**A/N:** This is why I don't write much. It ends up going in some really weird direction. You probably thought this was shounen-ai, huh? You thought wrong! KarinSena is one of my favourite pairings… haha…

This one-shot is painful to read. I'm so sorry.


End file.
